Rob left his doctor’s office with a spring in his step and a Viagra pill in his pocket. He had been more than a little nervous on his way to the appointment, wondering if any of the tests he had been given last week would reveal some serious underlying cause for the erectile dysfunction he had experienced over the past few months.
After speaking with his wife Maggie and doing a little research on his own, he knew that erectile dysfunction was sometimes associated with diabetes and cardiovascular disease.
A huge rush of relief swept over Rob when the doctor said that nothing in his test results suggested any obvious physical cause for the erectile dysfunction. Once the relief sank in, though, Rob got worried all over again.
"So what can it be, then?" he asked the doctor.
"Look," the doctor began. "Lots of things can cause or be connected to erectile dysfunction. Lifestyle habits, diet, depression, medication, or a more serious disease. In your case, let’s be glad that we can rule out disease. You’ve also told me that you and Maggie are very happy with each other, and that the sparks are still there."
Rob jumped in quickly. "The sparks are absolutely there. It’s just that I’ve had some trouble getting the fire lit."
The doctor smiled and continued. "If I had to make an educated guess at this point," he said, "I’d say that you’re stressed at work and probably not getting enough sleep or exercise. All these can be factors with erectile dysfunction."
"Yeah, I know," said Rob. "And you’re right about the stress and exercise."
"My recommendation would be to skip out of the office a little early once in a while. Hit the gym, take Maggie out for a walk. That sort of thing. We can also try a Viagra pill, see if that helps."
Rob perked up like a dog that’s just heard the cookie jar opening.
"But do you think Viagra would work in my case?" Rob asked.
"The thing is, you never know until you try it," he doctor replied. "But many of my other patients with erectile dysfunction swear by Viagra. Tell you what. Let me give you a free Viagra sample. We can see how it works for you and how well you tolerate it. Then we can take it from there."
After talking with the doctor a while longer about how to take the Viagra and what to expect, Rob left the office Viagra pill in hand. Now, as he drove across town to meet his family at their favorite diner, top down on his car even though it was really too chilly for that, Rob couldn’t get that free Viagra sample out of his head.
Oddly enough, he felt a lot like the twenty-year-old Rob again. He recognized that familiar feeling of having just purchased a package of condoms on the sly, his mind caught up in a hopeful fantasy about the adventures coming his way.
In those days, of course, Rob had never heard of erectile dysfunction and Viagra did not even exist. Sitting at a traffic light, he noticed an attractive, younger woman in the car next to his, looking his way. "Me, or my car?" he wondered. He smiled back, and when the light changed he moved on feeling young again.
"Man, I’m armed and dangerous," Rob now said to himself as he examined the Viagra pill in the diner parking lot. In the next moment, it dawned on him how ridiculous that must have sounded, and he was glad no one was around to hear him.
After all, it wasn’t as if Rob’s erectile dysfunction was chronic and certainly he was able to perform well enough with Maggie… sometimes. Still, in the old days, you could set your clock by his erections.
Nowadays, he never quite knew what to expect, kind of like waiting for the cable TV guy to show up at your house. Maybe he’ll come sometime between 10 and 2 or maybe he won’t come at all. He had read that Viagra erections were strong and reliable and by now he’d grown curious to find out for himself.
"Hi Honey," Maggie said and greeted Rob with a kiss as he joined her at the corner booth.
"Hi. Hey, where’s Olivia?" Rob asked.
"She’s having dinner at Anna’s house. They’re going to the movies after that."
"Oh, so it looks we’ve got a few hours alone to kill," Rob said, with just the hint of a twinkle creeping into his eye.
"Looks like," said Maggie. "So what did the doctor say? You know, about the erectile dysfunction thing."
"Wanna say it a little louder? I think that guy at the far end didn’t hear you!"
Maggie laughed. "I wasn’t that loud. So, anyway… what did he say?"
Rob lowered his voice. "He said my erectile dysfunction isn’t connected to any disease. I’m basically healthy."
"That’s fantastic!" Maggie said, grabbing Rob and giving him a big hug. "These last few days I’ve been so worried about it."
"I know, me too," said Rob. "He said it’s probably just a combination of stress, working too hard, not getting enough sleep… that kind of thing."
"OK. We can work on those things. I told you you’re burning it at both ends these days," Maggie said.
"He also gave me one of these," Rob said, dipping into his pocket and pulling out the Viagra pill.
"Is that what I think it is?" Maggie asked, eyes lighting up.
"If you think it’s Viagra, then, yes," Rob answered. "The doctor gave me a free Viagra sample to try out and see what happens."
Maggie turned over the pill, as if looking for clues. "You know, Olivia’s out at the movies. How about we hurry up this dinner and conduct our own little science experiment at home?"
"Sounds good to me," Rob said, as he dropped the Viagra pill back into his pocket and quickly signaled the waiter that they were ready to order.
Continued. Read Part IV of ED Blues here.
