It was just what the doctor ordered. Literally. I had been to see my doctor about my increasing bouts of erectile dysfunction. After running the usual tests, he suggested that my wife and I take a few days off and get out of the city for awhile. He couldn’t find anything physically wrong with me, saying that erectile dysfunction often creeps up on you because of the stresses and strains of everyday life.
"Give yourself a break", he said. Maybe the erectile dysfunction will go away on its own.
Coincidentally, my friend Thomas had been offering us the use of his cabin up by the lake. Walks in the woods, some fishing, curling up by the fire. Could be just the thing to take the edge off, I thought. Finally, I accepted his offer, secretly hoping it would be good medicine for my erectile dysfunction.
Is It Really Erectile Dysfunction?
My wife Susan and I hadn’t actually been calling it "erectile dysfunction" up until that point. "Having some trouble" was actually how we referred to my condition, which was becoming more troublesome as the months past. If it truly was erectile dysfunction, maybe we should do something about it.
"Let’s just use an online pharmacy and get some Viagra or Cialis," I finally suggested one night after another frustrating session in the bedroom. "It’s quick and private and they say it costs less if you buy it online."
But Susan balked at the idea, saying that even if it was erectile dysfunction, there must be better ways to deal with it.
"Fine," I said. "But, I’ll tell you… if this doesn’t clear up soon, it’s online pharmacy, here I come!"
Away From It All
Up at the cabin, we saw that Thomas’ modest description of the place had been understated. As we looked around, all thoughts of erectile dysfunction flew out of our heads. What he had described as a little country cabin was actually a luxurious, well-equipped country home sitting on the prettiest lake you could imagine. Away from it all, yes, but also outfitted with a fully-stocked bar, broadband Internet, home theater, the works. We settled in for a comfortable weekend with high hopes for the evening activities.
After dinner the first night, we opened a bottle of wine and sat down to watch some TV. We were both feeling relaxed, enjoying the quiet time together. Then, a commercial for some erectile dysfunction drug – I forget which one – came on television. We both groaned. Our mood was nearly killed by the fact that the couple in the commercial were about our age, and the way they described their erectile dysfunction sounded eerily like "the trouble" I’d been having.
We were determined not to let a silly commercial for an erectile dysfunction drug spoil things for us. We decided to switch off the TV and head upstairs with our wine. We lit the fireplace in the master bedroom and got ready for bed. As we snuggled quietly in front of the fire, we let the crickets outside do most of the talking.
Things got cozier and pretty soon we were both very much in the mood for more. As we undressed, I glanced down to take a quick survey of things. Nope, no erectile dysfunction here tonight, I thought happily.
A while later though, things didn’t look or feel so good. While I had started off strong, I had a hard time keeping it, well, hard. Susan was very understanding and tried to stay positive.
"Let’s just slow things down and take a rest," she suggested.
Quick…To The Online Pharmacy!
But by now, I had just about had it. "Look, the doctor said it could be erectile dysfunction and that drugs like Viagra can help. If he says it’s okay for me, then that’s it… I’m going online right now. I’m finding an online pharmacy and I’m going to order Viagra, even if we are out here in the boondocks!" I practically stormed out of the room.
"Wait," Susan called after me, grabbing her robe and following.
Downstairs, I quickly fired up the Internet. Susan and I searched around a little, reading a bit about Viagra and how to select a reliable online pharmacy. Finally, I found an online pharmacy that seemed trustworthy, one that a friend of mine had recommended for its low prices and quick deliveries.
After completing a brief online consultation about my erectile dysfunction symptoms and my medical background, I placed my very first Viagra order. Then I logged off the online pharmacy site, took a quick look at the weekend weather forecast, and closed down the computer.
Susan, who was initially opposed to the whole idea, now seemed relieved that we had placed the order with the online pharmacy and it was a done deal.
"Well," she said. "At least now we’ll find out whether you do have erectile dysfunction and whether Viagra can help it or not." I agreed, and we trudged back to bed ready for some sleep. If not truly contented, we were at least happy to have done something about our problem.
Saved by Erectile Dysfunction?
Just as we were about to hop back into bed, we saw something moving around in the rumpled sheets. A snake – black, with yellow and red stripes! We both froze and then slowly began backing towards the door.
"Do you think it’s poisonous?" Susan asked, not taking her eyes off the creature, which by now had spotted us and was swishing around even faster, trying to get some traction.
"Do I look like the Crocodile Hunter to you?" I replied, reaching slowly for the doorknob behind me.
We left the room quickly and tried to figure out what to do next. We decided that we should sleep in the other bedroom across the hall. But I had to go back and collect our bedclothes and a few other things first. I grabbed a poker from the fireplace, praying I wouldn’t have to use it and slowly opened the bedroom door.
Just as I entered the room, I caught sight of the snake, now poised on the open windowsill. Not wanting to interrupt what appeared to be his grand exit, I stopped. Slowly, the snake slithered out the window. I bolted for the window, slammed it down hard and even tried to lock it, not wanting to underestimate the reptile’s dexterity. I expect, though, that he was as glad to see the last of us as we were to see him go. We still slept in the other bedroom that night!
We called Thomas the next morning. He said there were plenty of snakes on the property, some of them poisonous in fact. Somehow he had neglected to share this little tidbit with us earlier. He insisted this was the first time a snake had gotten in… must’ve come through an open window, he said.
"You mean to say," Susan said to me later over coffee, "that if you hadn’t rushed off to do your online pharmacy order at some ungodly hour…"
"Yes…?" I replied, anticipating where she was heading with this.
"That we would have been sharing our bed with that snake, which could very well have been poisonous?"
"It sure looks that way, doesn’t it?" I answered. "In fact, I’m glad the erectile dysfunction kicked in when it did. Otherwise, we might have been in that bed a little longer."
"Don’t look so smug," said Susan. "You’re the one who’s been complaining so much about ED."
"Yes, but in this case, it’s quite possible that erectile dysfunction saved our lives," I replied.
Susan smiled. "So… maybe we should cancel the online pharmacy order? Maybe your erectile dysfunction will come in handy in the future?"
"No way," I answered. "Not on your life."
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